Dear, Anonymous ...
Dear, Anonymous
I went to a school with students that had learning disabilities, including me. Before I entered high school, I had the option of transferring to a new school, but I chose not to because of the fear of public school bullies. Me though struggling bullies and demons of my own. Throughout my high school years, I've seen my brother change, and not in a right way. To this day, I don't know what's been going on with him. I mention him because, how would you feel you're only blood family member is not on your side anymore? If you're one of my good, and I mean GOOD friends you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Thinking I would end up like him but in the end, I didn't. Yes, he graduated honors like how I did but he lost himself, but I didn't. Him being my older brother think of how saddening it would be not seeing your sibling(s), or loved ones every day. Think of how traumatizing it been for me not of spoken to him in months. Through life, we all tend to lose ourselves. Either it's a change in friendships, family, temporal things. Let's be honest, if the world can change, positively or negatively, people will too. Being 18 since last year, I would like to meet my biological parent, but I know even now it's not the right time. Please don't view me differently, and see me acting like a victim but I just really wanted to that out. And I'll explain more why later. Now, some of you are thinking; I'm getting too personal. But as of lately, writing in my journal doesn't help. And so, if I write publicly about how I feel, a ghostly weight will be lifted from my shoulders.
Artist change - Shinee's Married to the Music
Because of this weight on my shoulders, recently I've had to deal with machinimator's block, an alternative way of how writers say writer's block. A block on my creativity, I can't seem to latch myself on a concept. A theme that'll set the mood for a new machinima. It's 2:30 am right now to give you a point of view of how restless I am. I was going through my emails and noticed a private message I got on youtube. That was sent to me back in May asking about the plot for my Ravana and Nana machinima. I did say that I would post the storyline up on my blog. As you can see it's still taking me awhile. You could say this is my excuse, but it's really not. Any how, you wish to view it, I've just been busy. And I do apologize for that. I know I'm not the best machinimator, and yes I could learn animations, but the style I have with my videos I love the most. To make a name for yourself in the WoW Machinima Community takes a lot of effort and you just cannot launch yourself in. Why do I know this? It took me awhile to realize my faults. My old channel that's cringy as fuck, I wanted to restart because I wasn't "branding" myself right. Nor did I try. Some ask how do I do what I do? Why are your machinimas special?.. maybe I'll go into this in a video or another blog post. But as for now you have sit down and think hard, sit down and think about who you are as a person, how do you want people in the community to see you. And not just in the machinima community, but in the WoW community as well. Branding yourself, making a name for yourself, and even if you are UNDERRATED machinimator, you are still KNOWN. I hope you get what I am trying to say. As for my creativity, like I said there's a block that'll take awhile to unblock. For now, I'm doing what I can to help revive my mindfulness when I take the time I need to create. I don't want to let you all down, so let me take this time to think, and yes it does take awhile for me to produce a machinima. But some don't understand the art in machinimating. Even if I don't animate, some will say I have no place to be talking like this. First of all, there's no right or wrong way to creating as long as you don't steal other people's ideas. You improve over time, and your knowledge expands, so to anyone, and my old self -- that think I'll do "better" if I animate. My following will grow and I'll "feel" better about myself on the videos I most. Again, there's no wrong or right way. Me writing you this was not only for my viewers but to myself as well to remember.
Thanks for reading and waiting, through the years, through middle school to high school, and now into college. I hope that all of you will be here with me when I need someone to talk to or someone to give me their review on my latest video. I am honestly grateful for you all. Love yourself, and love those around you, don't let go of yourself, who you are is beautiful. Fight for what you believe in, work with others on problems, don't just end them. You only have one life, so get up and thrive. Don't be afraid to let others in, don't be afraid to love and live. Your only greatest enemy is fear itself, but your greatest hero is you. Don't give up and if your thinking of letting remember why you've held on for so long. Please remember that.
Sincerely yours,
Siyurka~
I went to a school with students that had learning disabilities, including me. Before I entered high school, I had the option of transferring to a new school, but I chose not to because of the fear of public school bullies. Me though struggling bullies and demons of my own. Throughout my high school years, I've seen my brother change, and not in a right way. To this day, I don't know what's been going on with him. I mention him because, how would you feel you're only blood family member is not on your side anymore? If you're one of my good, and I mean GOOD friends you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Thinking I would end up like him but in the end, I didn't. Yes, he graduated honors like how I did but he lost himself, but I didn't. Him being my older brother think of how saddening it would be not seeing your sibling(s), or loved ones every day. Think of how traumatizing it been for me not of spoken to him in months. Through life, we all tend to lose ourselves. Either it's a change in friendships, family, temporal things. Let's be honest, if the world can change, positively or negatively, people will too. Being 18 since last year, I would like to meet my biological parent, but I know even now it's not the right time. Please don't view me differently, and see me acting like a victim but I just really wanted to that out. And I'll explain more why later. Now, some of you are thinking; I'm getting too personal. But as of lately, writing in my journal doesn't help. And so, if I write publicly about how I feel, a ghostly weight will be lifted from my shoulders.
Artist change - Shinee's Married to the Music
Because of this weight on my shoulders, recently I've had to deal with machinimator's block, an alternative way of how writers say writer's block. A block on my creativity, I can't seem to latch myself on a concept. A theme that'll set the mood for a new machinima. It's 2:30 am right now to give you a point of view of how restless I am. I was going through my emails and noticed a private message I got on youtube. That was sent to me back in May asking about the plot for my Ravana and Nana machinima. I did say that I would post the storyline up on my blog. As you can see it's still taking me awhile. You could say this is my excuse, but it's really not. Any how, you wish to view it, I've just been busy. And I do apologize for that. I know I'm not the best machinimator, and yes I could learn animations, but the style I have with my videos I love the most. To make a name for yourself in the WoW Machinima Community takes a lot of effort and you just cannot launch yourself in. Why do I know this? It took me awhile to realize my faults. My old channel that's cringy as fuck, I wanted to restart because I wasn't "branding" myself right. Nor did I try. Some ask how do I do what I do? Why are your machinimas special?.. maybe I'll go into this in a video or another blog post. But as for now you have sit down and think hard, sit down and think about who you are as a person, how do you want people in the community to see you. And not just in the machinima community, but in the WoW community as well. Branding yourself, making a name for yourself, and even if you are UNDERRATED machinimator, you are still KNOWN. I hope you get what I am trying to say. As for my creativity, like I said there's a block that'll take awhile to unblock. For now, I'm doing what I can to help revive my mindfulness when I take the time I need to create. I don't want to let you all down, so let me take this time to think, and yes it does take awhile for me to produce a machinima. But some don't understand the art in machinimating. Even if I don't animate, some will say I have no place to be talking like this. First of all, there's no right or wrong way to creating as long as you don't steal other people's ideas. You improve over time, and your knowledge expands, so to anyone, and my old self -- that think I'll do "better" if I animate. My following will grow and I'll "feel" better about myself on the videos I most. Again, there's no wrong or right way. Me writing you this was not only for my viewers but to myself as well to remember.
Thanks for reading and waiting, through the years, through middle school to high school, and now into college. I hope that all of you will be here with me when I need someone to talk to or someone to give me their review on my latest video. I am honestly grateful for you all. Love yourself, and love those around you, don't let go of yourself, who you are is beautiful. Fight for what you believe in, work with others on problems, don't just end them. You only have one life, so get up and thrive. Don't be afraid to let others in, don't be afraid to love and live. Your only greatest enemy is fear itself, but your greatest hero is you. Don't give up and if your thinking of letting remember why you've held on for so long. Please remember that.
Sincerely yours,
Siyurka~
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